“i let him”

i let him
touch me
my hands
my face
my lips
i let him
hold me
my arms
my body
my heart
i let him
he was
my hands
are an illusion
my face
a mirage
my lips
are just a dream
my arms
slip through
his harsh fingertips
my body
slips out
of his
unsteady grasp
and truthfully
my heart
was never
mine to give


“He Asked. I Gave.”

He asked me to give him something
So I cut myself open
And gave him my love
I gave him the thing
That was keeping me alive
My eyes were swollen
From words and lies and secrets
I slit my skin open
And gave him my blood
It was the only thing left
When he asked
For a piece of me
I gave him the only thing
I had left inside
He’s the reason
I finally died


I guess we’re even
I finally stopped caring
No longer hanging onto an idea
Or that gnawing feeling
That one day you might come back
I no longer ache to see you smiling
I no longer dream of your eyes
Or the way you would light up
At something as simple
As the sound of my voice
So I guess we’re even
I finally can forget you
I’m capable of leaving
I don’t have to stand here
And wait for you to come back
I’m no longer glued in place
I don’t need you anymore
Even if I’m much too late
Even if I’ve only just figured it out
I finally gave up trying
I’m done caring
So I guess we’re even
And it’s about time
I told you I never really loved you
It was always a lie